Awesome cast, awful sequel - Meet the Fockers Reviews

The cast of "Meet the Fockers" has five acting Oscars, several Emmys, a slew of Golden Globes and one Tony among them. They won the Oscars for "The Godfather Part II" and "Raging Bull" (Robert De Niro), "Rain Man" and "Kramer vs. Kramer" (Dustin Hoffman) and "Funny Girl" (Barbra Streisand). The Tony went to Blythe Danner for "Butterflies Are Free," and Hoffman picked up an Emmy for "Death of a Salesman." In other words, they won awards for doing a fine job in projects with excellent writing and top-notch directing. Here's a modest proposal. Let's start giving actors awards for not embarrassing themselves, or us, in lame sequels such as "Meet the Fockers." I mean, c'mon: Arnold Schwarzenegger probably could pick up a best-actor Oscar if he had Martin Scorsese directing him in a script by Paul Schrader, right? Homer Simpson would have a shot if they gave him "Rain Man." The question awards-givers should ask themselves is this: Could any actor do anywhere near as professional and committed a job as De Niro does in "Fockers," a movie that requires him to repeat the same "Those Fockers!" joke over and over and over again, interrupted occasionally by a poop joke? Could Olivier pull off the fake breast De Niro has to wear, in another awful running gag? Could anyone else be as loose and funny as Hoffman and Streisand are playing Ben Stiller's smothering-loving Jewish-hippie parents, a cliche that was exhausted well before they propped it up one last time in the TV sitcom "Dharma and Greg"? The marvel of "Fockers" -- the ONLY marvel -- comes from watching Hoffman, Streisand, De Niro and Danner throw themselves into their roles, no holding back, and wring every last drop of comedy out of the wet dishrag of a script. Given that most stars of their caliber get to read the script before they sign, though, you do have to wonder why any of them would agree to make "Fockers" in the first place. Sure, "Meet the Parents" was a sleeper gem, but the sequel is many degrees below that. It's a patented Stiller comedy, designed to showcase his gift for squirming stoically while being subjected to embarrassment, and it has all the Stiller tropes, from the broken-toilet gags right down to the ritual humiliations of his character. (Ha-ha, he's a nurse! And his name is Gay! Gay Focker! His parents talk about his sex life! He gets injected with truth serum and spills lots of embarrassing secrets into a microphone! Etc.) What's in it for the rest of them? Hoffman and Streisand do appear to be having a fine old time, playing randy old hippies who can't keep their hands off each other, and their fun is infectious, at least fitfully. They sell a few of the bad jokes, and never once do they let us know that THEY know how bad they are. For that, they deserve more than an award. They deserve Scorsese directing their next picture.